Nov. 9th, 2012

saikou: (animu • tenipuri • sassy sanada)
Recently I decided to start running again. Part of this is due to the fact that the weather is baller right now, and I run so much better in colder weather than I do in hot. I don't mind sweating, mind, but I do mind the humidity in Florida which makes the air feel like it's sitting on your shoulders and laughing at you. Also, no use in hiding it, two other things combined pretty perfectly to motivate me: one, The Nothing Children's progress, though stalled for NaNoWriMo, is still happening. I feel the need to start dancing again in order to feel the sort of things I need to be writing about as Silios trains and learns from a totally beginner perspective. I used to dance so much, and finally I'm back to that. It's one of the reasons I wanted the big upstairs master bedroom, and now that I have it my depression has kept me from actually using it to that end for months. But I'm back, baby! Two, I'm watching Prince of Tennis again, and so help me god my interest in that series always makes me want to do my oshis proud and get off my ass. So here I am, actually training again. 

At Yankee Candle (where I'm assistant manager now, in case anyone missed the awesome memo! Even though all hours have been cut and I'm still just barely scarping by oi...) my manager is Carole. She's an expat Brit in her mid-50's, blonde and super adorable. And she's a triathlete. She started training when she was in her mid-40's after leaving university halfway through her second year working on her PhD. She had massive depression as well. She was accomplishing ~everything~ in life but felt incredibly empty. So she took her sabbatical and stayed at home, shut herself in for a month or two. Then one day she happened to see a sign advertising for a triathlon in her county. She told herself "I could do that" and started to train. She was 44 when she ran her first solid mile, and 45 when she completed her first triathlon. While training she fell into a retail job selling sports shoes. And she finished her PhD three years later. Carole is amazing and she is inspiring me so much.

Yes, I lost a lot of weight after dad's stroke. It was a massive amount of weight. But the way I did it was not the best for me. I deprived myself of so much. I just stopped eating, and when I did eat I was missing a lot of key things. I will still say I stand by it as a means to drop weight if you are inactive, like I was, but if you ever want to pick back up on life and not feel lightheaded every time you do something more physically demanding than walking up the stairs (boy I almost passed out so much, ha), take the physical fitness route instead. I know my diet is still not ideal (I would much rather be eating more greens, but those are expensive and I can barely afford peanut butter), but I feel much more comfortable eating 1500 calories a day than I did eating 700 and then feeling frail and breathless all the time. When I went into the hospital I was weak as a baby bird, so said my blood tests.

The only problem is, it's really time consuming. I have to devote at least an hour and a half to working out every night. Not that this is a bad thing. Not at all! When you get serious about it, Two hours at the gym followed by an afternoon nap before you wake up super early the next day to do two more hours on the track is normal. But when life is essentially "COMPUTER," oh man it takes effort. I have to cut conversations short and tear myself away from things that are really fun.

But working out is giving me an awesome excuse to listen to music a lot. So I do love that part.

Another problem is that I need better shoes. D: I've been giving my left knee HELL because I need better shock resistance in my ankles (I stand like a dancer, still, and I run like a dancer. It's not healthy for the knees because I'm not used to bending them easily D:)

To balance out the muscle stiffness that's setting in because of the shock of FITNESS LIFE suddenly after years of being a lazy ass, I'm dancing every time I go out to train, focusing on flexibility and my knees. The difference is startling already. I've only really been training for three weeks, and already I'm just loving it. 

I'm eating more, too. That'll take a good month for my metabolism to reconcile, but I'm not going to worry about it for now. I was getting extremely unhappy with my body as it was, because while I was heavier my body was SOLID, at least. As a size 8 I was suddenly flabby everywhere and I hated it. I've seen both sides of that, and decided I would rather be solid and beefier than skinny and cushy. I'm a strong independent magical girl who don't need no senpai.

Also there was an intense lawn care session yesterday afternoon, and I never expected what a toll on my arm an hour with a weedeater would take. HOLY CRAP I feel like my arm's gonna fall off STILL. I need to get stronger, and my upper body has always been a JOKE. I can barely lift a pack of water bottles when I come home from the store. Oi.

So yeah... tl;dr I'm RUNNING AGAIN YAAAYYY :D 

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Vee Hoffman

December 2012

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